So,we've all survived NaNoWriMo once again and maybe you have a whole book or part of one, or maybe you've been sick/busy/scared/a million other things. Whatever part of your writing career or life in general you are in, I bet you deal with doubt. Cool, me too. It's nice to know you're not alone, and you're not. I'm for sure not the only one who struggles with doubt and fear. We're human, it's part of us.
So, anyway, I've been writing for *ahem* a few years now, and have done my share of wrestling with the usual monsters that plague writers. Out of that has come a lot of experience wrestling with...wait for it...myself. Here's one of those struggles.
Confession time: I'm competitive. Yeah, okay, not much of a confession, but, I'm competitive with myself. Again, not a big shocker. However, this competition inside me does become a problem when it comes to trash talking. Yeah, that means I'm really just letting that voice in my head that tells me I'm not enough and a whole lot worse things about me have free reign. (See, you knew I'd bring it back to doubt, right?)
That's where it can get very ugly and what starts as a little push to get things done turns into a gateway for Doubt Voice to take over. I hate Doubt Voice. Hate it. It sure hates me, or it wouldn't talk to me the way it does. But, that Doubt, it's part of me. So, how to survive when Doubt has taken root....oh goody, a list 😊
Gonna call this surviving the dark forest of doubt:
1) Acknowledge that the thing in my head telling me how much I suck is there. I can try to ignore the voice, just like trying to ignore the darkness in a forest after sunset, but after walking into three or four trees, it's a lot easier to just admit it's dark and I need light to see where I'm going.
2) Shine light on the doubt. Scary things loom in a dark, but they're not so scary once there's light on them. After acknowledging the doubts and fears bouncing around my skull, I test them out to see if they're valid. Some are, most aren't. and the same ones come back to haunt me often. For some of my doubts, this is enough to dispel them. For others... well, that's why there's a whole list here and it doesn't end at 2.
3) Admit the fears. No, this isn't the same thing as acknowledging them. This goes beyond the inside of my own skull. The first two steps only involve me, and also usually involve prayer. If you haven't figured me out yet, I'm a Christian who believes Jesus lives inside of me and hears and answers my prayers. So, admitting my fears and doubts means involving another person. I have friends who are like family. In fact, they really are family because I have plenty of friends who are friends. The ones I share my doubt with are the ones I know I can trust with all of me even on my craziest day when all I am is a swiss-cheesed ball of fear cowering in a puddle of human. So, I'm in the habit of trying to deal with doubt before it leads me to the human puddle stage, though it goes there.
4) Get back to work. So, back to trees, well, deciduous ones. Anyway, guess what they do in the winter when their leaves are gone and their fruit hasn't sprung forth...not going to guess? Fine. They grow their roots deeper. So, if you sit still and drop your leaves and shiver in the cold winter of the dark forest of doubt and fear, the roots grow deeper. Move around and don't let the doubt stop you, and it can't grow it's roots into you as deep.
5) Use the doubt. Put it into the book and make your characters deal with it. Better yet, give one fear to one character and another doubt to another and see how it changes how they treat each other. It gets interesting.
6) Acknowledge that doubt is part of life. Yeah, I'm finishing with acknowledge because no matter what I do or say, doubt still lurks in my mind. It's part of me. It's normal. And I'm going to have to keep dealing with it for the rest of my life. We all are, it's just a thing, but it's a thing we can all deal with together.